Friday, February 14, 2014
THE LEGO MOVIE
Why can't my generation sit in a movie theatre for a minuscule hour and a half without checking their fucking cell phones? Really?
I'm right into the movie only to be ripped kicking and screaming back to reality by your fucking goddamn bright iFucking-stupid-fucking-phone!
(And by "You" here I mean "Them". You dear reader I know would not only know better but also, like me, be too into the movie to give a shit about your iDevice).
Why don't you care in the slightest that I paid nearly seventy dollars (before concessions!) to take my family to see a movie they have anticipated seeing for months? Why is it so important you show your complete and utter disregard for those around you?
Because you are nothing but selfish, self-centred, pieces of fucking shit. And your kids are ill mannered brats.
I pretty much do not exist to you. I am a figment. A simple illusion to you. A thing that doesn't count and therefore you need not care to show the slightest bit of decorum.
You do not bother saying anything to your brats when they kick seats. You do not say anything when your stupid shits speak out loud during the film. You do not parent at all!
Yet me and my darling little angels who learned to behave by the wrath (and "Time Out"'s) of their loving and parenting father, have to listen to their inane fucking gob shit spewing out of their fucking stupid little faces!
My generation do not know how to parent. They do not know how to focus on one thing for a set amount of time (say a hour and a half movie). They can not read, unless it's in a three word text using broken English on their iPhone, iPad or whatever fucking iDevice you can think of.
Fuck, I could go on and on and on about how much I hate my generation and people in general. I can not stand you. I can not stand being in a theatre with you. You make me sick to my stomach.
The only redeeming thing about my generation is that they make movies like THE LEGO MOVIE.
If it were not for my kids, my books and movies like THE LEGO MOVIE, I think I would jump off a tall building.
Posted by Andrew Leonard at 10:40 PM